


Never Going Back Again

by yourheadlookslikeacroissant



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Band Break Up, Blow Jobs, Bottom Harry, Bottom Louis, Break Up, Get back together, Harry-centric, M/M, Post-One Direction, Reunions, Rimming, Sad Harry, Top Harry, Top Louis, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-21 18:45:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3702267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourheadlookslikeacroissant/pseuds/yourheadlookslikeacroissant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One Direction split ways in 2016, five years later Niall has convinced the boys to a reunion, complete with a cheesy television show to go with it. Harry and Louis broke up shortly after the band did and Harry isn't sure how he is going to cope being around Louis again. Expect a lot of angst and sad Louis and Harry but also make-up sex later :p<br/>Rating is for later chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

One

   Harry had never felt this nervous before in his life. He was always sure that the day he first took a step onto the X Factor audition stage was always going to be the most nerve wracking in his life, but this was certainly worse than that. There was an emptiness in the pit of his stomach, an unnerving light feeling that he simply couldn’t shake. It shouldn’t be like this. He sat back in the seat on his car and ran his hands through his thick brown hair. The other boys would be inside now, waiting for him. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, it was no surprise to him to see several missed calls from Niall. This was all Nialls’ idea after all. The blonde had been the first to contact their old management with the idea of a reunion. When he bought it up with Harry he had scoffed at the idea, he didn’t want to be a washed up band making a television special about their reunion, yet Niall had talked him round. With the help of several beers of course. Which is why he was parked outside of some old country manor house, trying to build the confidence to go inside. He knew what awaited him in there; cameras, lighting equipment and microphones that would be discretely hidden on his shirt. There would be a round table that they would all have to sit around, glasses of water they could awkwardly sip and plenty of long silences. Liam would be the voice of reason, he always was, and then Niall would be honest about how much he misses the band and the other boys. Zayn, well Zayn would probably stay quiet and only give concise and well thought out answers. In all honesty Harry was surprised Zayn had agreed to the meeting given how well he was doing as a solo artist. And then there was Louis. Louis. Sassy, loud, gorgeous Louis. Harry had not seen him since he left, what was it, five years ago? He wasn’t even sure if he missed him anymore, but the memory of him still hurt, a pain he could not shake.  A rattling on his car window pulled Harry out of his thoughts. His head snapped to the noise, only to see Niall peering in at him, a huge grin plastered across his face. Harry couldn’t help but smile back at him.

   “You gonna come in or what?” Niall shouted through the glass, his Irish accent still as strong as it ever was. Harry opened the car door and stood only to be warmly embraced by the blonde.

   “So glad you came Haz, seriously.” Harry took a step back to see that there were tears building up in Niall’s eyes.

   “Wouldn’t miss it Ni,” Harry patted his friend on the shoulder “Let’s head in hey?” He gestured towards the house. Niall nodded and led the way.

  

   It has been well over an hour since Harry had been greeted by Niall in the car, the time had passed in a whirlwind of cameras and hair stylists, he was even given a change of clothes to look more like ‘Harry Styles’ whatever the hell that meant. He looked at himself in the mirror, he felt like an idiot. Clearly the producers were trying to re-create a time in which the band was strong and probably what most of their fans remember of them. So there he stood in tight black skinny jeans, a loose fitting white t-shirt and a navy bandana wrapped around his head that made his curls resemble a bit of a mess on top of his head. There was nothing wrong with the clothes, just he was twenty seven years old now and felt like he defiantly pulled the look off better seven years ago. Still, worrying about clothes certainly took his mind off of being confronted with the other boys again. Aside from Niall, he had only kept in contact with Liam and Zayn. The occasional text here and there just to check in or to wish a happy birthday or Christmas. He had contacted Louis a couple of times, but his attempts to reach out to the older male were simply ignored, or Louis had changed his number and hadn’t given Harry his new details. He wished that he could go and talk to them all now, before they were filmed. But that was one of the conditions of them doing this, no meeting before – it had to be on camera for ‘realism’, it would apparently gain more of a reaction from fans that way. Harry knew that there had been rumours on the internet about a possible One Direction reunion, and there was a fair amount of excitement about it. Since they had announced their split in 2016 no other boyband had really taken their place. Sure, some had come and gone, but none had reached the level of success that they did. It was somewhat comforting that their fans didn’t simply replace them, they were loyal, and hopefully this reunion would do their fans justice.

  

   Harry could feel his whole body shaking as he entered the large living room that they were filming in. To his surprise there was no round table or glasses of water. Instead there were two large plush sofas one either side of a large fire place that was lit, emitting a welcoming glow into the room. Niall was already sat on one of the sofas with Liam deep in conversation already with a camera watching their every moment. Harry stood and watched them a second before clearing his throat. Both Liam and Niall looked up at him and stood. Liam bounded over to him and hugged him, his strong arms tight on his body. Niall then grabbed them both and started laughing, a high pitched laugh that could only be likened to the sound that a dolphin would make. Liam let go of him and ran his hand through Harry’s hair before pulling the bandana down over his eyes. Harry pulled it up again with a grin that reached both of his dimples.

   “You’ve not changed much Hazza.” Liam beamed before leading them all back to the sofa.

   “Same to you Liam,” Harry’s eyes scanned over Liam subtly “How’s being a Dad treating you?”

   “It’s amazing, amazing, yeah,” Liam gushed “You should have made it to the Christening you know.” Harry immediately felt the presence of the cameras on him. Why would Liam bring the Christening up so soon, and in front of the cameras? Harry had sent a present for Liam’s son and an apology card for not being able to attend, after four years of not seeing Liam he thought it might be a little odd for him to show up.

   “Yeah, you know how things are.” Harry replied feebly.

   “All the other lads made it, was a shame.” Liam shrugged as he slouched back on the sofa. All the others went? That was news to Harry. He glanced at Niall who was looking at his hands that he was playing with in his lap. Thankfully the awkward silence was broken by Zayn, who entered the room with a strange sense of purpose. Harry stood, as did the other two as they shook hands with Zayn, giving the whole ‘great to see you again’ talk as they did so. Stylish was the only word to describe how Zayn looked, stylish and very expensive. Much to Harry’s delight Zayn wore his hair slicked back with one strand falling across his face. The fans had gone mad over that one strand of hair back in the day, maybe their producer did know what he was doing after all. The four of them sat for a while making small talk, and then Louis entered the room. Harry couldn’t quite believe his eyes. Louis was wearing tan coloured chinos, a striped t-shirt and braces. Braces. He hadn’t seen him wear them for God knows how long, but there he stood, nearly thirty years old, dressed like he was when he was eighteen. Harry felt a lump in his throat looking at him, his whole body felt numb. Louis was looking right at him, walking straight towards him, a smile on his face.

   “Not gonna stand up to say hello lads?!” Louis exclaimed with a laugh.  The others all stood and hugged him, Harry held back, only to be pulled into the hug by Niall. He found himself pressed up against Niall on one side and Louis on the other. He had forgot how small Louis was, how dainty his hands were, how he fit so perfectly into Harry’s arms.

   “Perfect, that was perfect boys,” Their group hug was interrupted by the director who clapped his hands together loudly “Now that’s over with, let’s get you all sitting on the sofas and talk about what made you quit One Direction yeah?”

 

   The whole ‘talking about their feelings’ process was painful, and something Harry really wished was not happening on camera. He was surprised at some of the things the others were saying, things they had never brought up before, he wasn’t sure if some of it was for the cameras, or if they actually felt that way. Liam seemed especially bitter about the break up, about how it should have been handled better. He directed a lot of his anger towards Zayn and the way he quit the band during their On the Road Again tour. Zayn took the criticism well, he apologised where needed and simply nodded and took in what Liam had to say at other points. Niall was the most emotional out of them all, he was One Direction’s self-titled biggest fan and the break had been very hard for him. Harry remembered numerous phone calls from his friend in tears, sobbing that it can’t be all over, they have so much more to give. But at the time they really didn’t, they were done. Zayn spoke a little about why he felt the need to leave, it was nothing that they hadn’t heard before – they all knew Zayn wanted to go solo, he couldn’t take the control of their management anymore and so on. Louis talked about how he knew he wanted his own music management company to get off of the ground, which it did, and that he felt that his time with One Direction was draining him of the passion he once had. Harry knew that wasn’t completely true, Louis loved being on tour, the fans, he loved the attention. He also knew Louis would never admit how much it hurt him when Zayn left the band, not to the others anyway, and certainly not to a television crew. Harry found that he was the last to talk, and he realised there were no words for how he really felt about what happened those years ago.

   “I mean,” He started, feeling all eyes on him “I think at the time I was just tired y’know? We all were, it was the right thing…at the time.” He couldn’t begin to explain everything, he didn’t even want to try. There were some things that should be saved for them privately, even if the others didn’t think so.

 

   The room in which Harry was staying in was large, an old four poster bed stood to the left of the room, a door to an en-suite bathroom on the opposite wall. He had booked himself into a nearby hotel for the night, but Niall had insisted that they all stay in the manor house for the night. He probably thought they could stay up all night reminiscing and drinking, which wasn’t a totally bad idea. Harry slipped out of the clothes he was given earlier that day and changed into an equally as tight pair of light denim jeans and a fitted black t-shirt. He decided to keep the head scarf on for old time’s sake, and he secretly liked how his hair looked with it on. He could hear Niall and Liam downstairs, Niall strumming on his guitar and them both singing along to some tune Harry recognised but couldn’t place. He grinned to himself, he did miss this, and he missed them. He decided that he would join them, he slipped his phone into his pocket and opened his bedroom door, only to see Louis standing there, hand poised like he was ready to knock.

   “Harry?” Louis face screwed up in confusion. Harry couldn’t help but notice he was still wearing the same clothes as earlier.

  “Hi?”

  “This is your room?” Louis peered over Harry’s shoulder. Harry too looked behind him, half expecting to see someone else there.

   “Yes, I think so?” He couldn’t help the sinking feeling in his stomach as he realised that Louis was not looking to talk with him.

   “I thought that this was Zayn’s room, sorry.” Louis turned to walk away and by instinct Harry reached out and grasped his arm, causing Louis to turn back and look at him.

   “Lou I-“

   “What do you want Harry?” Louis snapped, his tone making Harry flinch slightly.

   “Don’t you think, well, don’t you think…” Harry mumbled his words falling over themselves.

   “Don’t I think what?”

   “That we should talk?” Louis remained silent for a moment before pulling his arm out of Harry’s grasp.

   “Talk? About what? Us?” He asked almost accusingly.

   “Lou, we are going to have to sooner-”

   “Fuck you Harry,” Harry blinked at Louis’ words “No really, fuck you.” Louis stepped forward and gave Harry a small shove. There was no real force behind it, but Harry wasn’t expecting to be pushed and stumbled back into his room a few paces.

   “Why are you so angry?” Harry could hear his own voice becoming agitated now, he was not anticipating Louis to be so hostile towards him.

   “You left.” Louis’ voice faltered on the last word, his strong resolve crumbling in front of the taller boy “You broke my heart Harry.” His blue eyes shone with tears, but he did not cry. Harry opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Louis was looking at him now, not with anger, but with hurt. He wished he could say something, anything. Harry simply shook his head and looked down at the ground.

   “For someone who wanted to talk you actually have very little to say.” Louis said quietly as he turned and left, Harry did not stop him this time.

****


	2. Two

Two

   Louis let out a giggle as Harry ran kisses down his neck, his long hair tickling his cheeks. He let out a contented sigh and let his head fall back against his pillow, his hands sliding into Harry’s curls as the younger boy rested his head on Louis’ shoulder. It was so unbearably hot in Dubai, their room offering a safe haven of air conditioning and room service of ice cooled water. They had explored the local beach earlier in the day, both men stopped to have pictures with a few fans – separately of course. But it wasn’t long until Harry was whining to go back to their hotel room to have a shower and cool off from the sun. Louis could only put up with Harry’s whining for so long and the boy always got his own way in the end. Not that Louis was complaining; it meant he got to share a shower with Harry and now they were sprawled across their bed, bodies sticky from the heat, but both were comfortable now. He could feel Harry’s breathing evening out and he realised that he taller boy had fallen asleep. He let his hand fall out of Harry’s curls and down to his waist to pull him closer into his body. Harry shifted in his sleep, his arm stretching out across Louis’ torso, his leg sliding over Louis’ thigh. It amazed Louis how Harry seemed to get himself so small in his arms, the boy was so much bigger than himself, but right now he looked tiny. It made Louis’ heart hurt to even look at him sometimes. He felt such pride and happiness in knowing that Harry was his, he loved him with his whole being, so much so that it scared him just how much he could love another person. It was nice to finally see Harry relaxing as well. He had recently been soothing Harry to sleep, rubbing his back slowly and whispering to him that everything was going to be okay. Harry would simply sob into his pillow, murmuring questions like ‘What did we do to push Zayn away?’ and ‘How did I not know he was so unhappy?’ Louis could only kiss the back of his neck and tell him it wasn’t his fault, no one was to blame. But that did little to soothe Harry. He was hurting because he believed that he could have prevented Zayn leaving, but Louis knew that wasn’t the case. To see Harry in such a state brought physical pain to Louis, he hated seeing him like that, and most nights he fought back his own tears because he couldn’t stop his Harry from hurting. Today was different though, it was the start of their two month break from the tour and something had shifted in Harry in the past two shows. He appeared to be himself again, he was strong and alive and in turn that made Louis want to burst with happiness as Harry was his sun, and when his sun was bright so was he.

   “Lou?” Harry mumbled sleepily.

   “Yes baby?” Louis brushed some of Harry’s hair that had fallen across his face behind his ear.

   “I’m cold.”

   “Are you serious Harold?” Louis blinked, rubbing his hand up and down Harry’s back. Harry nodded and curled up tighter into the older boy. Louis looked over at the air conditioning system, before reaching for the remote and turning it off. The cool air stopped immediately and left the room with a dull heat.

   “Thanks Lou, love you.” Harry yawned.

   “You’re welcome, just don’t complain when you wake up all hot and sweaty.”

   “Can it always be like this?”

   “What? Horribly hot?”

   “No,” Harry prodded Louis’ chest in annoyance “You and me.” Louis smiled and kissed Harry on the head.

   “You and me, forever, I promise.”


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First off I am so so sorry that it has taken me so long to update this! I have no excuse other than being lazy but I am back now and promise to complete this. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments (:
> 
> Mentions of Briana and the baby in this chapter - this is obviously fiction and I'm not saying that what I write here is going to happen or anything as I know this is a bit of a sensitive subject for people at the moment! 
> 
> I also apologise for any mistakes - I am doing this without a beta so if anyone would like to volunteer to help that would be amazing.

**Three.**

 

  Harry woke the next morning with a splitting headache - he wished he could put it down to a hangover, but after seeing Louis last night he hadn't gone down to sit and drink with the others. He took some pain killers as soon as he had showered and frowned at himself in the bathroom mirror. Louis words kept repeating over and over in his head and the truth of the matter was that he simply didn't understand. How had  _he_ broke Louis' heart? Sure he left - but only because Louis had told him to, he would never have left from his own choice. It was a mess. He wasn't even sure if he even properly remembered what really had happened back then. Louis shut himself off from everyone, and it had hurt Harry deeply that the man he loved wouldn't confide in him. 

 

   A couple of hours later and Harry was sat in front of a camera on his own, he had spent the morning in hair and makeup and he was quite pleased that the stylist had left his hair down today. He was being asked numerous questions about what he had been doing since the band had gone their separate ways. These were all questions he had been asked before - and surely the answers were obvious from any simple google search, but this was for a stupid television show so he had to explain everything in great deal.

   "I mean...acting was something I had often thought about doing, and with the band deciding on the hiatus-"

   "You split up." The interviewer interrupted bluntly. Harry stared at her for a moment, a bit surprised that she actually said that to him.

   "Well...we actually never confirmed an official break up." Harry mumbled "For all extensive purposes it was a hiatus, we never said when we planned on getting back together - or what our plans were for the break. I think we knew that somewhere along the line we would get back together- just maybe we didn't think it would take this long." He explained. 

   "A lot of the fans do blame you - for the band not getting back together sooner." She stated and Harry frowned at her accusation. 

   "I am aware of that." He said with a slight nod "It was a very difficult and sensitive time."

   "You split with Modest management when the other boys decided to stay with them - and were the first to move onto other projects." Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat as she spoke, not really liking where this conversation was heading. 

   "My issues with Modest were personal ones - it was more to do with my personal representation rather than that of the bands. And actually the other boys were working on solo material before I even signed any contracts for the acting jobs." he really hated that he felt like he was having to defend himself now. 

  "It seemed though that you abandoned the others - you were in London at the time of the Brit awards but didn't attend, You were also in LA when it was reported that Louis' was not the father of the baby he believed - but it has been confirmed that you did not even visit him." Harry visibly tensed at the mention of Louis, immediately feeling sick to the stomach.

   "Both Niall and myself were unable to attend, for reasons that do not need to be known to the public. Sometimes you cannot attend such events - luckily Louis and Liam were there to represent us and they did a brilliant job. As for...the..." he mumbled not even being able to form the words properly "Louis...we all reached out to him - at the time he wanted his family and girlfriend around him. Knowing that his family was around him was enough for me to know that he was okay."

   "Thank you, that's enough now," The interviewer said and she motioned for the camera to be turned off "Thank you Mr Styles, we will let you know when we need you again." She smiled and stood up, picking up her paperwork as she did so. 

 

   Harry didn't quite make it to his room before bursting into tears. He wasn't really sure if he was angry or upset about the questions, but either way he couldn't stop the tears falling down his cheeks. He stood by his door, swearing under his breath as he tried to unlock it until a hand rested on his shoulder.

   "Harry?" He knew straight away that it was Niall and turned to look at him, wiping at his eyes quickly "Harry mate whats wrong?" The blonde asked in confusion.

   "Questions...about Lou...Louis." Harry said and let out a rather painful sounding sob.

   "Give me your keys." Niall said in an authoritative tone that Harry didn't hear much from him - he handed the keys over to him obediently and watched as Niall unlocked the door and ushered him inside. Harry sat down on the bed, looking down at his hands in shame, he hated crying - especially in front of his friends. Niall closed the door behind him and went to sit down next to him - placing a supportive hand on his knee.

   "Haz, they are going to ask questions." He said simply and Harry looked at him.

   "They said I wasn't there for him after he found out about the baby."

   "You know that's not what happened." Niall sighed. He was right - the baby was never Louis' they knew that from the start, a stupid and elaborate stunt to cover up Louis' sexuality and relationship with Harry, not that there was any relationship left at that point. 

   "I told everyone that it would be weird if I wasn't seen with him, or showed some sign of support." Harry said feeling frustrated at the situation all over again "Louis wasn't having any of it - and I came across as this inconsiderate arsehole."

   "You can't really blame him for not wanting to be around you at that point though mate."

   "What's that supposed to mean?" Harry said, a frown on his face.

   "Seriously?" Niall said and raised his eyebrows in surprise as he stood up from the bed "You know what you did Harry."

   "What I did?" Harry said as he watched him move back over to the bedroom door "I did nothing wrong!"

   "Wow..." Niall said and Harry was pretty sure he could hear a bitterness in the others voice "You still think you didn't do anything wrong. That's actually amazing Harry. Louis was right about you the whole time." He said and left the room, slamming the door after himself.


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it. As always kudos and comments are appreciated!

 

Four. 

   Harry had spent the rest of the afternoon in a bit of a daze. He wished he could understand what Niall and Louis were talking about – clearly Louis remembered things very differently to what Harry did, and had told Niall his version of the truth. He didn't like that other people now had a warped perception of events and Harry was the one seemingly in the wrong now. It would help if Louis would actually talk to him – but what with a film crew around them all the time it made things difficult for him to get a moment alone with him. Not that he really thought Louis would talk to him anyway. Louis had always been stubborn; it was something Harry used to find endearing about him but now it was just frustrating. He never thought that he would be on the wrong side of Louis, and it was a place he really didn't want to be.  

   They had received a memo that afternoon that they were to have a group chat for camera about Zayn's departure, they were to discuss how it made them feel and how it affected the band. Harry had groaned as he read it, the topic still a sticky one after all these years. Apparently the other boys felt the same, they all sat in the living room from the previous day, told where to sit by the producers. Harry was on one of the sofas with Niall and Zayn while Louis and Liam sat on the one opposite them. The positioning was important, Liam and Louis were seen as the closest since the band went on break, and if anything they looked rather intimidating sitting together opposite them.  

   Liam opted to speak first, clearing his throat and rubbing his hands together to show that he wanted to start things off.  

   "It was the way you did it," He said, looking at Zayn who was looking at the floor in front of him "We knew you were unhappy, but we had agreed that we would finish the tour."  

   "Things happened." Zayn said with a dismissive wave of his hand. Harry shook his head a bit and bit the inside of his mouth to stop himself from saying anything.  

   "You and that girl yeah?" Louis said and rolled his eyes "For god's sake Zayn, that was your own fault." 

   "You were there right with me," Zayn said casually "You could have stopped what was going on, you were hardly an angel yourself Louis." Harry looked up at Louis, not sure what Zayn meant by that comment. Louis' eyes flicked over to Harry, a sense of unease evident.  

   "This isn't about me." Louis retorted "This is about you, and the way you handled things." 

   "We were all upset." Niall said, trying to ease the bitterness a bit "We were worried about you, but you closed off from all of us." 

   "I didn't think you would want to speak to me." Zayn shrugged, closing up a bit more now. 

   "We did Zayn." Harry said now "The way things went was not how any of us would have liked. Especially the petty things on online." 

   "I wondered how long it would be before one of you bought that up" Zayn sighed.  

   "It was pathetic mate." Louis snapped. 

   "Hardly one to talk Louis." Zayn said with a laugh "You were the one who started it." 

   "Are we seriously going to go there with 'he started it'?" Liam asked with a heavy sigh "Look, we all said and did things that we shouldn’t have done. I think we need to move past that, we've been around each other since then and it has been fine. We are incredibly proud of what you have achieved on your own Zayn."  

   "Thank you. I appreciate that." Zayn said looking at Liam with a smile. 

   "I think if we decide to start doing stuff as a band again," Niall said "Then you need to be more assertive and tell us what you do and do not like in the music." 

   "It's a bit difficult when other people have more creative influence than others." Zayn said, he didn’t look at Harry but he knew that the comment was aimed at him. Harry looked at him, clearly annoyed and tutted. 

   "I think passive aggressive comments like that are not going to help." He said slowly as he looked at him "No one had more influence than anyone else, just you were uninterested in getting involved. Louis and Liam did most of the writing because they wanted to – you wrote Zayn but you never showed us anything."  

   "Let's just move on yeah lads?" Niall said, ever the peacekeeper. Harry looked at Louis and was surprised to see him looking back, but the older man turned his eyes away quickly.  

 

    _Louis_ _ran_ _his fingers slowly down Harry's spine, making him shiver and turn his face to look at him. He smiled, dimples showing and his green eyes seemed like they were sparkling. Louis could honestly say he had never seen anything so beautiful in his entire life. The bed was a mess of sheets and pillows, white linen washing over their bodies as they just lay and looked at each other,_ _gentle and_ _loving touches shared between them. He wanted to stay in that bed forever. Wrapped up with Harry_ _and the rest of the world would just keep turning – but they would be safe and protected together. He brought his hand up to_ _Harry's_ _face, his thumb tracing the line of his cheek bone and then laced his fingers through Harry's long thick curls and smiled at him "I can't believe I get to call you my husband now."_

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work on AO3, I hope you like it! I hope to update at least once a week. Comments and Kudos would be much appreciated :)


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